Entry 12: Remember All… Let it Go

Feeble little boy,  I am. Surrounded by much greatness.. When is self-belief appropriate, and when do I believe I’m merely a seed in comparison? The path is paved with people who know their way around the laws and regulations, as well as the self-confidence and the appropriate actions necessary. No one really likes the feeble little boy who struggles a lot, right? Who doesn’t know, who doesn’t get the act right.. Who voices out his deepest darkest complaints as though they were words from the pit of hell. 

Where am I meant for? 

When do I let go? What does letting go mean? 

I’m sorry… I’m really sorry. I apologize if I can’t be what I would like to be. My lifetime lasts but a second,  and none understands.. They choose to judge and put all the weight on your shoulders. This is your life. You’ve got to live it and you’re on your own. They say. 

There’s no room for the deepest and darkest complaints and the seemingly unnecessary. 

Is anybody out there? Please help me be… Please help me when I can no longer help myself – both with the inability, the incapacity and the lack of will. 

 

Whoa… It’s Christmas Day. Why all this craziness? You’re setting yourself up for failure! 

No.. Wait, am I? 

I… Can’t help but keep looking down. 😦 I can’t look at life straight in the eye when I’m like this – so fragile, so weak. Jumping from fences of disbelief and belief. Getting all of it wrong. Why can’t I just do this? I need something different! I need real, burning passion.. 

 

 

Advertisements

Entry 11: Truth

The lack of clear truth sucks.

BS. Reason, evidence, deep unnecessary jargon. 

The billions of stars, the galaxies. The insignificance.

What is truth?! Show yourself.

If truth is something that’s purely rational, where love, grace and kindness aren’t brought into equation – then that truth better be thrown away because that’s SICK. 

It’s not freakin’ about you. It’s not freakin’ always about you. Why does it have to be that you put yourself above everything. What good would that truth be if you don’t care for the people around you?

There is some deeper, greater truths in hugs, care, affection and help…. It’s not always about a mental condition or a thought process of the mind, getting to a certain ‘aha’ FACT, and things just falling into place!

If your version of truth is all about living for yourself and making it big in your own way then..is that really the bigger picture?

What are you?! Why?! 

 

I’m probably just gonna cry in the corner, realizing that this stream of emotions are only fueled by the wrong things. It’s all unfair, but trying to reach out for some real love here..